1. “An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.” - Ernest Hemmingway

2. “I’ve been drunk only once in my life. But that lasted for twenty-three years.” - W. C. Fields

3. “A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk” - Lee Entrekin

4. “Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can’t say it” - Anonymous

5. “Being drunk is a good disguise. I drink so I can talk to assholes. This includes me.” - Jim Morrison

6. “You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” - Dean Martin

7. “A drunk mans words are a sober man’s thoughts.” - Steve Fergosi

8. “I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes. What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?” -  W.C. Fields

9. “It is better to spend money like there’s no tomorrow then to spend tonight like there’s no money.” - P.J. O’Rourke

10. ” The best place to drink beer is at home. Or on a river bank, if the fish don’t bother you. “ - American folk saying

11. “Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer.” - Al Bundy

12. “Work is the curse of the drinking class. ” - Oscar Wilde

13. “Beer is the reason I get out of bed every afternoon.” - Anonymous

14. “Why is there so much wine left at the end of my money?” - Milan Maximovich

15. “I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.” - George Best

16. “An alcoholic has been lightly defined as a man who drinks more than his own doctor.” - Alvan L. Barach

17. “What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for.” - Irish proverb

18. “Oh, well, of course, everything looks bad if you remember it.“ - Homer Simpson

19. “Alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.” - Homer Simpson

20. “Lois: Oh Peter, you’ve been drinking again.
Peter: Nah, I’m just exhausted cause I’ve been drinking all night. “ - Family Guy TV Show

“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.” - Winston Churchill

” ‘You are drunk Sir Winston, you are disgustingly drunk.’
‘Yes, Mrs. Braddock, I am drunk. But you, Mrs. Braddock are ugly, and disgustingly fat. But, tomorrow morning, I, Winston Churchill will be sober.” - Winston Churchill

“ ‘Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.’ - Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
‘Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.’ “ - Winston Churchill reply

“Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” - Winston Churchill